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How well does your partner truly know you?
Beyond hide and seek
Is there something you need to tell your partner but can't quite bring it up?
Cultivate vulnerable authenticity
Perhaps you don't reveal too much of yourselves to each other, but wish you could.
Grow closer together
How deep you go speaks to how close you are to each other. The more you share of your deeper selves to each other and feel affirmed, the closer you feel and can bond with each other.
Enriching your relation with character
Safely drop your guard by aptly applying universal character principles. Let this interactive spreadsheet tool draw you closer together in love.
Relatably Responsive in 8 pages
Click on the page title here to quickly cover its content below.
p1 - Cover page
p3 - Degree of self-disclosure
p4 - Preparing for self-disclosure
p5 - My particular self-disclosure
p6 - Apply character principles
p7 - Your response to my openness
p8 - Reciprocating Relatability
Or scroll down to dive into each page. You can click on the page title below to get back up to this list.
Click on a table of contents item to instantly go to that page. Click on that page's header to instantly return to this menu
Optionally use these eight questions to test how well you already know each other.
The closer you socially are to each other, the more of yourselves you naturally reveal to each other.
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Assess how much you actually reveal of yourself at each communication level.
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Then report how much you would like to courageously share and still be loved.
Set the stage for diving deeper in yourself by answering these five items with the provided list of dropdown options.
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Express your intent.
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State what you intend to share.
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What concerns you have about sharing this now?
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What rationalizations kept you guarded?
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Why haven't you shared this until now?
Optionally use this space to write out what you seek to self-reveal.
Practice putting it into words. Edit your wording.
Say it aloud to get a sense of how it will sound.
Invite your partner to improve their responsiveness to your vulnerability by applying these character principles.
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​Select the character principle that you trust could improve their responsiveness to your vulnerable self-revelation.
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See how that character principle adds to the Johari Window, specifically for illuminating your blind spots to improve your life.
If you send your initial self-revelation by written message, have them identify which of these words best characterizes their reaction.
Or you could record how much each seems to describe their reaction. Optionally use the dropdown list beside each item: very; moderately; somewhat; a little.
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Respect defensiveness as a possible cue for hidden trauma.
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Optionally use the "praise sandwich" communication format to invite them to hold you accountable to self-improvement.
Up to this point, this tool only addresses your self-disclosure to your partner. Invite your partner to reciprocate such bold openness by following these same steps.
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Have them download their own copy of this tool here. You then can both mutually deepen your lives with each other.
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If you need any guidance with this, you can contact a qualified counselor or reach out to us. You can use this in three ways.
UNILATERAL
Disclose something without them disclosing anything to you
BILATERAL
Disclose something special to each other at least once
RECURRING
Continue disclosing to each other in repeated engagements
Next tab: Response Register
If you find this tool helpful to deepen your relationships, you can log your exchanges here.
3rd tab: Instructions how to save as a PDF
After filling out each page, you can save the results as a PDF. Then clear the forms to use this again.
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To optionally save as a PDF, simple follow these instructions.
Ready to try a new way?
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